I spend a great deal of time in an office tower on the 6th floor thinking about conflict.  Some  would say this is a very negative world, but I am an optimist, and an opportunist. What I have primarily learned about conflict, as I sit here thinking, is that everyone has a different view of the definition of conflict, and what it is for them. My definition has changed. A vacuum is created when something is missing in a relationship.  We know that when a vacuum is created, it is filled. If something is missing in a relationship, high emotion, anger, frustration rush in. Our hard-wired phisiological reaction to conflict rushes in — we fight or take flight. This is conflict. I view my role as a facilitator in conflict to fill the vacuum with greater understanding, thereby pushing aside the conflict, or the perceived conflict.  This is about understanding, and not about agreement.